Last Monday, I arrived at the hospital about 5:30pm, dinnertime for my sister, and usually a good time for a visit. Over the previous 3 weeks the changes were drastic. I look at photos from her birthday, June 1st, remembering that even then I thought she looked fragile; realizing that in theses photos she looked plump comparatively.
"Come over here Kiki", she said patting the bed.
"I want to say goodbye because I'm going to die tomorrow", she said and then she grabbed me with a ferocity that surprised me, her strength permeating her frail frame. I'd learned to ride the words that my sister offered, whatever they were. At the time I thought it was the morphine talking. Leslie's MD had explained about sedation so she wouldn't suffer, a sleep induced coma if you will, and she heard euthanasia. Leslie's nurse and I comforted Leslie, assuring her that this was not going to happen and then Leslie let me baby her the rest of my visit. Fiercely independent, Leslie allowed me to help her in a way that I hadn't been able to help her my entire stay.
We had an amazing visit and it was our last lucid conversation. She really was saying goodbye and I will cherish that moment forever.
My dear sister Leslie, also known as Stripey McDangerpants, passed away at 2:20am July 1st, 2011. It was my supreme honor to have been her sister in this life and I will miss her every day until we're together again.
She loved Star Wars and especially Obi Wan Kenobe. As one of my friends said, "like Obi Wan, she's stronger in the after life" and I'm cherishing that thought, knowing that finally, my sweet sister is no longer suffering.
