today

I'm tired. A tired that goes deep enough to take away the words that I'd like to write here, despite an almost overflowing build-up of words that are ready to spill, until I sit down here staring.

We arrived in Los Angeles late Saturday afternoon which was pretty strange. We've landed here many times before, but knowing this was our final destination, that we aren't getting on a plane this weekend to fly back East is pretty fucking surreal.

By late Monday, we had all of our furniture in the house and both cars delivered. Not one thing busted, (ok, I haven't unpacked the boxes but the furniture and art work...all good), and even though the change compartments in both cars were completely cleaned out by the car transporters, I consider this move a huge success.

I want to tell you about my new town. How pretty it is and how it hasn't changed since I was a kid. I want to show you the oil painting, our biggest peice of art, hanging in the powder room and I want to show you the views from our decks, ocean views, people! I can see the ocean and smell the salty air from my house. Wowzers.

I miss NYC but I don't miss Maplewood, NJ. That's the name of our little suburban oasis, now that we're gone I don't mind you knowing where I was. 15 miles from downtown Manhattan and yet it felt incredibly far most days. I loved our house and the friends we made there, but I didn't love how isolated I felt most days; depressed really, cut off and unsure of who I was.

Now that I'm here, I feel like myself again. M and I are good, my family is good, but we've got a lot of drama happening right now that I can't share here because it's not my story to tell. Suffice to say, it's just life getting in the way as it does.

I'm quiet here because I've got a lot on my plate. I hope you all are doing well and I'd love to hear what you all have going on, especially the lurkers. Come out and tell me what's happening in your world today.

xoxo,

Kiki