As a mama to an almost tween, (eep!), I'm always conscious of my actions, (or try to be), especially during those moments that don't go as planned. Those instances when news come that breaks us or beats us down. Those are the defining moments for me as a parent. How do I teach my girl about the school of hard knocks?
I think it's about teaching hope. I have gone to and continue to go to the dark side. My nature is such that I'm a brooder and a worrier; the dark side is my perfect place to beat myself down, (I wish I wasn't so good at beating myself down), so to encourage and embrace the other side when the chips are down isn't easy for me.
But here's my truth: I am a pessimistic optimist. I believe in the cup half full and all the candy corn and rainbows out of my ass that I can. I have to believe in the technicolor because my fears will cripple me otherwise.
I'm a strong woman with her heart on her sleeve, extremely sensitive and intuitive and a little bit paranoid, if I'm going to be really honest. I don't want my worries and fears to come true, although sometimes they do.
Confronting my worries and fears, under the watchful, insightful, eyes of my girl, I've had to push myself to believe in myself when I've wanted to wallow.
I've tried my hardest and it hasn't always worked out. Perhaps my lesson and gift in those instances is the opportunity to show A that very often, things don't go as planned. With hope and compassion for ourselves in those instances when we're most disappointed, we grow.
