strong like bull, stubborn like ox

Packing is like Groundhog Day. Every day it's more of the same and I can barely stand it, and I know the worst is yet to come. 

I wanted to be further along, but I find myself with an even shorter attention span; mesmerized by the lyric of the hummingbirds who come to visit outside. I hear the crashing surf and laughter in the late afternoon when the wind is blowing a certain way, and thirty minutes has passed. 

This introspection is necessary and welcome, but the timing could be a little better. I have so much to accomplish in such a small amount of time. And let's face it: the mister is good at packing his music and tasks that are set before him. But beyond that, the whole 3rd person in this household who is a hoarder and complains when asked to go through her belongings? Yeah, I'll be packing all of her crap and lest I think that I can start pitching things while she's at school, her elephant-like memory is annoying when it comes to the piles of 'important papers' and bullshit wrappers from some birthday party that was "so much fun." 

We're on the brink; so close to having our lives settle down a bit that I feel anxious. I want to be done with the packing and already there. I don't want to think about how the Farmer's Market is on Friday and what about the moving truck? Or, the new house is on a tiny cul-de-sac and how will the truck get down the street? As if any of that is my concern, but it keeps me up at night.

We found counter stools that I'm in love with, and miraculously, a dining table and chairs. Our current table and chairs will be gone next week; we need the room for boxes and I need to see that thing out of here. 

I'm bored out of my head in all honesty. This no working, is not working and I'm thinking about grad school and Spanish classes and I want to learn how to surf, but I'm not the best swimmer and I'm scared of sharks.

I've been obsessed with rattlesnakes lately, and I find crow feathers everywhere, but I let them lay. Somehow the thick spine of the feather, (is that even what it's called?), grosses me out. That thickness sticking into the bird...yuck. 

I'm drinking way too much coffee and there have been a couple, epic sugar binges. It's a serious trigger for me and it wreaks havoc on my body. I've known this for awhile now, but when a friend first suggested I think about my sugar intake, I wasn't ready to listen. 

And so it goes. Small steps, with the occasional set-back. I'm trying to remember that all of this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix.