It's been a week of self reflection, taking stock.
During the past 24 hours, a myriad of emotions were set in motion by a long overdue acupuncture treatment that left me simultaneously grounded and vulnerable. A weird night of sleep, I was up before dawn reading, only to fall back asleep and awaken later in a funk. The remnants of a powerful energy shift. This morning feeling inspired to exercise, it was a good hard sweat that released whatever toxins were lingering after yesterday's appointment.
I've been thinking about New York City a lot today. Not Brooklyn, and certainly not the six years we spent in New Jersey. Over a lunch date with a dear friend this afternoon, I got to talking about our life in Manhattan as I watched a roof man walking precariously on my neighbor's roof next door, triggering a memory of a falling man off the fire escape of our apartment on East 61st Street.
Later, I thought about the correlation of that time in my life, when I was in school and getting ready to graduate and studying. Studying for my national licensing exam, and studying for my course work. Because I was in school full-time and not working, I was studying and I was working out. Most days involved exercise to clear my brain as I filled it again and again with Chinese Medicine.
Today I'm focusing on that energy from a decade ago. As I prepare to take the California licensing exam, I'm counting on muscle memory; the cadence and rhythm of text book Chinese Medicine. Test taking (and especially this exam), is very different than the language of daily practice.
I'm looking to the athlete that I was back then as well. Using exercise as a way to manage my thoughts and stress was essential to my success in graduate school. Never a good test taker, (until M clued me in), for me, taking standardized tests is an exercise in slowing down.
In order to get to that point, I need to have a place to send my dark and twisty. Writing more, so I have a place to dump my load. Reaching out more and asking for help. And most days, moving my body to a sweat.
