In my thoughts it's as if I'm living life in a third person narrative, collecting notes for a later time. It's a solitary life that leads to monologues resembling crazy in the light of the day.
+++++++++++
I'm quite aware of time passing, and how my time is not my own right now. I knew having a puppy would require discipline and being home, but I didn't imagine this. Suddenly I have places I'd like to go like the gym, which is ridiculous. If you know me, you know the last place I crave is the gym.
With less time, I become more productive. Not necessarily in ways that count towards less stress, (like cooking and laundry), but I've been more focused on discovering what my path will be.
+++++++++++
And despite my obvious skepticism, there were 3 signs yesterday, that pointed me towards a goal,(if I'd even call it that), I've been flirting with.
It's an idea that has come full circle, one that looks very different than it did three years ago. Cryptic I am, and vague are the details, but I feel clear headed and prepared that this is the time. I know this time will be different because I am. I'm grateful for all that has transpired to this point, (here I go again professing against my own declarations), because I feel strong and certain, not lost and powerless.
+++++++++++
The beginning of this year found me exploring the truth planted in front of my face, illuminating the ways I'd deluded myself on half-baked truths.
Even though I'm comfortable being alone, I discovered a need to establish a stronger relationship with myself. I'm learning to accept that my feelings of loneliness can be empowering once I let myself be swept along for the ride.
I've learned that on the other side of it all there is clarity and I believe that this new tenderness will guide me.
+++++++++++
I'm quite aware of time passing, and how my time is not my own right now. I knew having a puppy would require discipline and being home, but I didn't imagine this. Suddenly I have places I'd like to go like the gym, which is ridiculous. If you know me, you know the last place I crave is the gym.
With less time, I become more productive. Not necessarily in ways that count towards less stress, (like cooking and laundry), but I've been more focused on discovering what my path will be.
+++++++++++
And despite my obvious skepticism, there were 3 signs yesterday, that pointed me towards a goal,(if I'd even call it that), I've been flirting with.
It's an idea that has come full circle, one that looks very different than it did three years ago. Cryptic I am, and vague are the details, but I feel clear headed and prepared that this is the time. I know this time will be different because I am. I'm grateful for all that has transpired to this point, (here I go again professing against my own declarations), because I feel strong and certain, not lost and powerless.
+++++++++++
The beginning of this year found me exploring the truth planted in front of my face, illuminating the ways I'd deluded myself on half-baked truths.
Even though I'm comfortable being alone, I discovered a need to establish a stronger relationship with myself. I'm learning to accept that my feelings of loneliness can be empowering once I let myself be swept along for the ride.
I've learned that on the other side of it all there is clarity and I believe that this new tenderness will guide me.
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