present*

I was talking to a friend the other day, listening with a little bit of marvel as she spoke.

I'd forgotten our conversation a few years back, that we'd spoken about me going offline and moving more into 'my life'. At the time I was trying to remove myself from the heavy online community presence that made up my days and how I was going rogue by trying to be more present in my daily life.

I was proud of myself whilst listening to her talk. Feeling much more accomplished after listening to what she had to say, those words arriving at a point of very little confidence in myself, certainly a gift whether intended or otherwise.

Right now, being present means being alright with myself, especially my messy and unsavory bits. It's about me allowing for those moments and then embracing being open and the release that comes afterwards. 

We all have those bits that need polish, the tarnished and dented bits that appear when least expected or welcome.

I used to think it was about deciding whose unsavory baggage I could stand to deal with. Now I see that it's about who I let see my weakest moments; when the shit hits the fan and the guard is down and how that looks on the other side.

*I've joined along with Amanda for the month of November with daily writing prompts you can find here