I am sore. I ride hard each week and the remaining days in a week are spent making myself stronger so that each week my ride might get a little easier. I am the girl that needs to have some sort of goal with exercise, otherwise I'm really skilled at talking myself out of it.
I come from trying to remember that middle school was not a good time in my life and that my kid at thirteen is in the thick of it. I'm sure I was equally dramatic, but here's the truth friends: no one tells you that as a parent you get to relive middle school with your kid. I can assure you that it still sucks.
I see that I'm getting stronger. Each time I ride it's a little easier. Not that the classes are easier, (in some ways they feel harder), but I'm able to ride the entire 45 min. without hitting the saddle, unless directed to do so.
I love that 7th grade is almost over. I'm ready for my kid to be on vacation and for there to be no schedule. We both need that.
I trust the process. I know by now that highs and lows come with a creative life. So I'm not shooting as much. I know that this too shall pass.
I believe in the power of my weekly spin class. To witness myself pared down, with an empty mind and the opening in my heart deepening, I am able to let go of a bit of my crap, (the crap I've dragged along for decades), with each ride.
I find myself being more accepting of myself.
I wonder if this summer really will be the hottest on record.
I found out the best way to recharge and reconnect is by the sea. The smells and the sound, every inch of that dirty Santa Monica Bay that I love. I just might not want to put my face in the water as much.
I call on every bit of my inner strength as I think about my girl going to sleep away camp back east this summer. It's her first time away for an extended period, (almost four weeks), and while it will be a life-changing event for her, it will also be one for me. I'm trying to just let that be, not trying to analyze what my feelings will be, or make grand lists of ALL THE THINGS I'M GOING TO DO!
