I love the random and very spontaneous conversations that come about when you've got hours ahead of you and an open road.
During my recent road trip, my friend was asking if I'd made any new friends in any of my photo classes.
My friend has very clear, (and sometimes what feels to me as a bit harsh), boundaries regarding friendships, acquaintances and the people she allows into her life. She doesn't trouble herself with much outside of those lines and will often make her assessment of a person very quickly.
My brain is not wired for such practicality. I think it's the components of my laundry bag of shit that I bring to each interaction, and age. I've always disliked, 'wait until you're older...' wisdom doled out as though you reach an age and you're suddenly wizened.
Except it is like that recently, but the wizened information is all about ME and what I know to be true for me, myself and I.
I used to be more like my friend, making quick assessments of people, (and situations), and not giving two shits what anyone thought.
So when she said,
'if I don't like the work a person is making, why would I engage with them even if we're in a class together?'
the words stung with truth.
Listening to my friend as we drove on the open road, really hearing her words, I know she's not alone in those sentiments. It made perfect sense in the context of the discussion and explained so much, even if it made me sad.
I don't like such a black and white perspective. I think with everything there are shades of grey and that that middle ground erases the need for competition and elimination. I think to be so certain of someone so quickly removes any opportunity to learn from that person, irregardless of whether I like the work she/he is making or I want to be their friend.
When did everything become so competitive?
I used to be super competitive, and not just with others. I would compete with myself when I'd exercise, (especially during yoga), and I'd hurt myself every goddamn time.
I'm not sure when my competitive nature began to diminish but I think it truly began once I absorbed that the only thing that matters is what's happening on my own yoga mat. What's happening on that rectangle is my business and mine alone. It doesn't matter what Jane is doing over there on her mat, or whether Bobby is making something that feels just like mine.
Kill em' with kindness while I mind my business.
Nothing to see here, move it along.
My brain is not wired for such practicality. I think it's the components of my laundry bag of shit that I bring to each interaction, and age. I've always disliked, 'wait until you're older...' wisdom doled out as though you reach an age and you're suddenly wizened.
Except it is like that recently, but the wizened information is all about ME and what I know to be true for me, myself and I.
I used to be more like my friend, making quick assessments of people, (and situations), and not giving two shits what anyone thought.
So when she said,
'if I don't like the work a person is making, why would I engage with them even if we're in a class together?'
the words stung with truth.
Listening to my friend as we drove on the open road, really hearing her words, I know she's not alone in those sentiments. It made perfect sense in the context of the discussion and explained so much, even if it made me sad.
I don't like such a black and white perspective. I think with everything there are shades of grey and that that middle ground erases the need for competition and elimination. I think to be so certain of someone so quickly removes any opportunity to learn from that person, irregardless of whether I like the work she/he is making or I want to be their friend.
When did everything become so competitive?
I used to be super competitive, and not just with others. I would compete with myself when I'd exercise, (especially during yoga), and I'd hurt myself every goddamn time.
I'm not sure when my competitive nature began to diminish but I think it truly began once I absorbed that the only thing that matters is what's happening on my own yoga mat. What's happening on that rectangle is my business and mine alone. It doesn't matter what Jane is doing over there on her mat, or whether Bobby is making something that feels just like mine.
Kill em' with kindness while I mind my business.
Nothing to see here, move it along.
