I was interviewed recently for a new magazine devoted to art, not just photography. We met in person, and I was recorded as we chatted. Note to self: remember that you're being recorded and things you say will be added that you might not want to be added, (insert sarcastic, funny at the time anecdotes).
When I was asked,
who do you shoot for? I began to laugh until I realized it was a serious question.
Always myself...duh. (i didn't say duh.)
And that prompted a conversation about who we make art for. The girls,(there are two editors of the magazine), said they make their work for their online audience. It's always about showing what's happening to others and in theory, promoting.
I think about this in connection to Polaroid week, which is happening right now online. For many, it's their favorite week of the year. Polaroids, (the best of your best), are stockpiled and two are presented each day. There are lists of favorites and blogs of favorites and as much as I love looking and sharing, I also noticed this year that I feel shitty.
I'm not jealous this year, (although I have been in previous years), but it draws upon the character traits that I'm working on. The competitive beast that renders itself with any opportunity there is to question myself creatively online.
I feel like an ass for putting myself into competition with the computer screen and yet I'm drawn to sit here, more hours than I'd like to admit, my shoulders hunched and aching as I look and compare, and compare some more.
And if I'm being really honest, it's not even about the work so much as the likes and the notices and the recognition. And I hate that I care, that I still want it after all this time, knowing that if it bothers me this much, that maybe this would be one of those instances to actively not participate in.
I'm not jealous this year, (although I have been in previous years), but it draws upon the character traits that I'm working on. The competitive beast that renders itself with any opportunity there is to question myself creatively online.
I feel like an ass for putting myself into competition with the computer screen and yet I'm drawn to sit here, more hours than I'd like to admit, my shoulders hunched and aching as I look and compare, and compare some more.
And if I'm being really honest, it's not even about the work so much as the likes and the notices and the recognition. And I hate that I care, that I still want it after all this time, knowing that if it bothers me this much, that maybe this would be one of those instances to actively not participate in.
