Lately, I've believed more than I haven't, that my heart no longer aches, that I don't replay the words like a broken record.
Lately, it feels as if it's always a leap forward and another three steps back.
I'm weary of the merry go round.
Lately, it feels as if it's always a leap forward and another three steps back.
I'm weary of the merry go round.
And then I remembered something the mister said recently. We were talking about our time in the suburbs of NYC and what life for me especially, was like.
He reminded of this conversation as I was lamenting,
He reminded of this conversation as I was lamenting,
...this move will be good for you because you haven't been yourself out here. and you don't even have to take the test because you're not going to be an acupuncturist anymore anyway.
and I will tell you I wasn't happy with any of those words. I steadfastly maintained that I WOULD be practicing acupuncture and that I HAD NOT lost myself in the suburbs.
Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.
- Anne Sexton
Now, four years later, I can see that he might have had a point. I can see that I was a bit lost. I allowed myself to sink into the chatter of what I believed my life should/would/could look like and who I was going to be.
As arduous as the road has felt these past years, I see the light. It's in the distance and I know the work is far from done. I am learning to accept those moments when I fail at deflating the remnants that linger; when I trip over memories that are full of power only because I let them in.
As arduous as the road has felt these past years, I see the light. It's in the distance and I know the work is far from done. I am learning to accept those moments when I fail at deflating the remnants that linger; when I trip over memories that are full of power only because I let them in.
