Last Saturday, I took my first 60 minute ride. I was scared. I'd just mastered the 45 min. class without sitting, and I was scared that it would be too hard. And I was justifying all of it because I wasn't feeling well with that stomach thing, (which I've determined was a lethal combination of dairy and gluten, meh).
I didn't cancel. I told myself that because each day I was feeling better I would be ok in class, and that just showing up would be enough. Setting up my bike I reminded myself more than once that I didn't have to push myself on the ride, that I could sit whenever I needed to sit.
The class was hard, and it took a lot of focus to quiet my mind of its complaints...'fuck this is hard, it's too hard, you'd better stop...but I made it. I didn't sit in the saddle. I pushed myself and I listened to my body. I found myself smiling as the sweat streamed down my body and I was able to breathe through the toughest parts. And afterwards, after the release of sweat, tears, and emotion, there was more space inside of my heart for love and light.
I don't quite understand why/how my cynicism cracked and I've found what I can only describe as 'my church' inside a stinky, sweaty room full of indoor bikes.
I don't question this anymore. I show up, set up, and I ride.*
*you know i'm doing the 60 minute ride again this saturday.
I don't question this anymore. I show up, set up, and I ride.*
*you know i'm doing the 60 minute ride again this saturday.
