Where this year did you begin to see yourself differently? What are the words you’d no longer use to describe yourself? What are your new favorite descriptors?
I began to see myself in a new light, when I realized my grief had begun to lift this fall. Almost 18 months. I tried to not label the amount of time, and most importantly, not to judge myself that 18 months had past, and instead, began to embrace all that I'd done to pull myself through.
Uncertain. Lost. Acupuncturist.
These are the words I've let go of. This fall was the marking point when one of these words wasn't in the forefront of my thoughts and/or conversations; each very definitive of how I'd described myself in the recent past.
Nowadays, I call myself photographer. It was my word for 2012 and as such, it was the year that I added this word to my internal, (oft judgemental), CV without cringing or immediately explaining the description away.
Most days, I feel certain of myself and where I am.
Confident.Satisfied.
Most days, I feel certain of myself and where I am.
Confident.Satisfied.
With the body project, I'm hoping to create a contemporary dictionary of words to draw upon; a better relationship with myself, rather than the old stand-by of shame-filled regard laced with a healthy dose of animosity.
I remember the first time I told someone I was a "photographer" when they asked me what I did. I had to catch my breath immediately afterward so the justifications and down-playing of that word wouldn't escape me and be barfed all over them. :) It's a healthy practice in humility and self awareness I think to see what we can only cautiously own about ourselves. And then to push past those critical voices and stand in the pride of that ownership. Sending you vibes of confidence and satisfaction as you move through this ever more beautiful journey. :) Thank you for your bravery, again. :)
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