notes on life : into the pie hole

I've had a sweet tooth for as long as I can remember. I've got my own theories why it began, but it has been a constant and consistent obsession.

When I started riding, much of my sugar fixation abated. Largely controlled now, it's only recently that I've begun to notice the physical manifestations while they're happening and not after the fact.* 

I gain weight, especially in my belly, which I'm now referring to as the 'sugar packet' where all the extra, empty, shitty calories of sugar collect and remain. 

This week I've made a handful bad choices with a few packets of peanut M&M's and candy corn. None of this is excessive or cause for concern beyond the noticing. 

I see that when my sugar consumption is high, I make poor food choices as I reach for quick fix items, hunger descending quickly as the anecdote to a sugar crash. Toast with almond butter isn't inherently bad, but it also isn't a proper meal, and I never seem to catch up when it has been a high sugar day. 

Knowledge is power and even if I'm the last to the party, I'm glad that the cause and effect of sugar is apparent. I'm now tuned in and will be less reactive when I'm ready to eat shove sweets.**

*Why some things take decades to work on sort of blows my little mind.

**This is the plan anyway. I know myself enough to know that any time I try to plan something too much, it's almost certain to backfire.