notes on life : illuminate

Ultimately, we are who we are. 

Finding people that will walk the path by your side, without too much judgment, (because truth is, we all judge), riding the highs and the lows, (especially the lows), is a gift I do not take for granted.

Not everyone that you find to walk by your side will do so for the duration. I've made peace with that truth, and with that acceptance a space has been created inside of me that feels light.

I have learned that I am only as small as I make myself. The stories and half-baked truths that have become  the arsenal of weapons to drive how small I am home, they are just that: half-baked, and I have defined myself this way for years.


From the bottom of my grief I pulled myself back up again and this is what I've learned so far:

I am love and light. 
I am darkness that is twisty, and there are cracks everywhere.
I am thin-skinned. It's my kryptonite and words cut deep.
I am strong. 

Clipping onto a bike, picking up the rhythm, and following my breathe has been the best gift I gave myself this year. 

In those dark, pulsating rooms, shoulder to shoulder, (literally, those rooms are packed with 60 riders!), I opened my eyes to see and believe that I am all of those things and more. 

I find my strength in my weaknesses, through compassion and balance, and always the motto: lightness in my body,  grace in my heart.