Now more than ever, I'm clear about where I stand on my path.
In some ways, 2010 was a shit show. Behind the scenes drama had me questioning and examining all of my actions and much of my behavior. What was my contribution to it all? What could I have avoided if I'd acted differently?
And I can say, (with my head hanging in a bit in shame), that the most troubling times were those instances when I didn't speak up or honestly. Being honest, using my words instead of mincing them, has always served me best. That's not to say that, (and this is the shame part), there were a number of instances last year when I didn't speak honestly.
It wasn't until last Fall that I finally got it. As in, I started saying it like it is. I began to see myself emerging again and I began to follow my instincts and heart.
Change is difficult, especially for someone like me that's comforted by routine and the familiar. Last Fall I found myself in uncharted territory, my heart fragile as I examined what was true for me.
I learned a lot. About myself. About how I am as a friend and how I want to be perceived as such. I stopped looking outside for approval and I started looking to myself for the answers.
Once I stopped looking outside, I was able to see my path, my path, clearly.
