There's the business of being in someone else's business that makes a lot of sense when it's presented in such terms. It's very easy for me to get into business I have no business in, mostly because I'm so inside of my head with an active imagination.
Turns out, I do a lot of assuming under the guise of something else, because I am very skilled at disguising my own bad behavior. Curtains pushed aside, right there before me, is me, making assumptions, which can masquerade as judgement.
If you know me you know I loathe judge-y. I'm the first to point it out in others, and while I might be right in those instances, I'm fairly certain that I'm the last to recognize it in myself.
I've accomplished so much since that moment of awakening, (is that too dramatic?), last November. There have been layers of crap scraped away and now I stand before those that are embedded in stone: the issues and emotions that have encapsulated me for decades.
My crap has paraded as many other things, but its core elements now discovered are a slow excavation. There is comfort in old habits and beliefs; even the most fucked up ideas I can think/believe/know, well worn, feel familiar.
Familiar doesn't feel good anymore. Familiar feels safe. It feels like laundry and lunches and errands to be run. Familiar takes the special out of the everyday, and I want the small things that make up my day to feel comforting against the turbulent landscape of change that continues to manifest as I chip away at the stone.
Familiar doesn't feel good anymore. Familiar feels safe. It feels like laundry and lunches and errands to be run. Familiar takes the special out of the everyday, and I want the small things that make up my day to feel comforting against the turbulent landscape of change that continues to manifest as I chip away at the stone.
