I made a decision yesterday, one that resonated deeply within and feels so simplistic that I wonder what took so long to get to it...
I'm not going to be sad about my sister anymore. That's not to say that I won't be sad or grieve, but I will not mourn the entire month of June as I have in the past. It's made for a grim month and I'm tired of living under that dark cloud.
Truth is, my sister would not want this to be how I remember and honor her. She was a girl that lived her life as full as possible, and especially when life was throwing her serious setbacks. She'd despair sure, but she'd also embrace what she had and find the fun.
That girl lived her life exactly as she chose during her Canadian years, and I do a disservice to all that she was by wallowing in sadness. I know she'd want me to live the shit out of my life, especially because she can't, and that's what I intend to do.
From June 1st, (her birthday), through July 1st, (her passing), I plan to live the fuck out of life. Travel. Celebrate. Have fun. And maybe in her honor we'll watch Star Wars, but the most important part of all this is to make the most of all that I have in this beautiful life.
