When I was a career girl, I was ambitious. I had goals that I worked towards and achieved, I had a path.
When we decided to move across country, I was still ambitious. I had the end game in sight, and now I see I also had something to prove to myself, which it turns out, wasn’t important in the long haul.
Blindsided by my sister's cancer returning and then her death, my ambition began to change its shape until it disappeared. No longer were the goals I’d set something to consider because everything was changed.
Blindsided by my sister's cancer returning and then her death, my ambition began to change its shape until it disappeared. No longer were the goals I’d set something to consider because everything was changed.
All that I was capable of, (beyond grieving), was taking care of my family. That was where I was most needed and it was all that I had to give.
And in the end, it gave me a new perspective. Up until that point, I'd so identified myself as a working woman, that I gave short shrift to everything in my life that wasn't career-oriented, especially the gift of being home, raising our kid.
And in the end, it gave me a new perspective. Up until that point, I'd so identified myself as a working woman, that I gave short shrift to everything in my life that wasn't career-oriented, especially the gift of being home, raising our kid.
Nowadays, ambition is something that no longer motivates me. I have goals, but compared to my A-type driven patterns, my goals resemble ideas at best; cloudy and shape-shifting, exactly the way I need them to be.
For me, ambition now resides in the black and white of things, this or that. Gray is where my aspirations lie; transmutable, and open to possibility.
