I've spoken before about the trifecta of the past few years and the incredible amount of challenges that have come my way. In the past three years everything I've ever thought about myself/family/life was put to the test, culminating in a finale at the end of October that shook me to my core.
Truly broken, I spent the last two months of 2013 trying to make sense of the events that had unfolded, acknowledging beating myself up for my mistakes, trying to figure out how and why.
It's very easy for me to take the burden of responsibility whenever anything goes wrong. I'm a sucker and glutton for self-flagellation. Trust me when I say that I am my own worst enemy and all that I absorbed late last Fall could have and almost did destroy me.
Smoldering in the ashes, I've taken a hard and very long look at myself. I've confronted the demons and devils that torture me and I've come to accept myself, truly, with all of my faults and tribulations.
I'm finally ok with the losses that have gone down. Yes I still mourn what was, but I'm full of hope that with the pain comes a better understanding of myself and my limitations. I'm not going to make excuses for myself or my quirks: this is me.
Love me or hate me, that's not my issue to fix or make better. I'm marking better boundaries, I'm using my words and speaking my truth and I'm not letting myself fall into situations that I know aren't a good fit for me because I don't want to hurt someone. As long as I speak my truth with peace and love, I've got nothing to lose.
