whatcha whatcha whatcha want

I think about this question a lot, because it's a question that I have to have an answer to when it comes to my photography.

Ok, so it's not always such a literal question, although I do almost always think about this song when I have to start speaking about my work. 

Where do I start? It's a question that often confounds me, simultaneously quickening my heart. Because seriously: what do I want? 

I can tell you what I don't want. I know by now that my way is to sort through the no's before I get to the yes. Arduous, but it is what it is. 

I've learned a lot these past few months about the world of fine art photography. Up to that point I'd been in a nice little bubble of Kristen. Some minor success over the years without any effort. Selling some work and the blind luck of having my pieces included in a couple group shows. 

There's volume to the body of my work and from there I've gathered one really strong portfolio and perhaps with the rest, a massive pile of pretty pictures.

I still believe there's a place for those photos, the pretty pictures that to the fine art world don't mean much. They are my memories, my way of marking time; the sheer volume of all those photos I've made as my glossary.

I'm making work differently now, more thoughtful and painful in a sense because I feel overwhelmed by the ideas that percolate without form. 

The ideas are there, I know this to my core. It's about letting go and trusting that the details will come.