I'm lazy this morning. I had plans to go to the movies, but it's cold and rainy here and I'm tired.
I had class this week, the class that meets once a month and while it's a lengthy run, (nine months in total), we're required to work in the month we're away.
There's an open dialog in the class; both with the class mates and also the teacher offering opinions and critique. There have been times when I've felt embarrassed, and yet that's on me. The environment is gentle and while I've taken comments personally,
'your work here is disparate, what are you trying to say?',
I realized after the sting of the words had passed that both the questions and comment were valid and worth examining. My work is better as a result of that first class critique because I know now what I'm trying to achieve beyond a pretty picture.
I'm very clear about the statements attached to each body of work, it's the overall artist statement, why I do what I do, that I have a hard time with.
There was a moment this week in class when I began to read my statement and I felt myself cringe. What I had before me, what I was saying was a mouthful of art speak; the description my teacher attached to statements full of nouns and adjectives that say a whole lot of nothing. As you can guess, she strongly discouraged us from resorting to art speak.
As a juror for portfolio reviews, she believes that the more flowery prose you need, the less certain you are as an artist about your work. Of course this is one opinion, and all art is subjective, but as the words began to form and as I said them out loud I was cringing. I knew at that moment, that I didn't have a clear vision of what my work, overall, is about.
I think I've been trying to find some grand reason why I shoot and I think that's the problem. I think I've become attached to another opinion I heard about why one takes photos and because that person is wildly successful, I guess I believed that it was the only way, silly I know. Obviously someone else's process isn't going to work for me especially when I've hoisted it onto a pedestal. Even if I feel that my way isn't the right way, (whatever that even means), I need to get past all that and figure it out for myself.
Being inspired is good when it's used productively and I can see that taking to heart everything I hear isn't productive for me. I'm going to go back to the simple questions and I know that looking at myself, not at myself through someone else, will get me to a statement that makes me proud.
